Decisions have been made.

January 28, 2015 in Uncategorized

So we have started a brand new year. And I haven’t gone out to lunch with Penguin, and I have decided; I have made a conscience decision to phase Bunny Boy out of my life too.

How and why?

He wasn’t in my life for close to 7 years and I did just fine without him. And then just that little bit of contact and then he wants to take me to Mozambique for a holiday?! I don’t think so. And besides all the “stuff” he confessed to me that evening about him having various properties and getting rental income while I would sell clothes so we could have bread to eat.

I actually remember going to then Friendly Grocer and counting cents! Yes, cents just to make up the bill for the few things I bought for “us” . . .

And when I asked why didn’t he tell me, his answer was: “I didn’t want you after my money.”

Seriously. *place my puzzled face here*

And this was also after I gave a brilliant speech about it doesn’t matter where we are, just as long as I’m with you blah blah blah – living in a cardboard box blah blah blah. Was I high on drugs? Flip man!

And then to hear he had all these extra businesses and income on the side – hell freakin’ no am I going to Mozambique with your lying ass.

And this is why I have decided to keep conversations to an absolute minimum until the complete erasing from my life happens. And it has worked well, I will admit – I feel nothing towards him or bad that I’m doing this. Nothing.

Good to cleanse like this. Why would I even consider being friends with him again? Yep, must have been high on drugs . . .

And I don’t want to mention the mythical, fairy tale creature as just thinking about those memories is bitter sweet madness and conflict in my head. . . So no mention today, although “it” did get mentioned now. See, utter madness!

back in action!

January 6, 2015 in Uncategorized

So we start a new year . .  But let me first recap what happened last few days before closing time . .

I was supposed to have lunch / supper with Mr Penguin. Aaaaaannnnnnd that didn’t happen. I’m OK with that as I wasn’t too keen to begin with.

Bunny Boy is still trying his hardest to get back into my life, throwing parties and inviting me. Me listening to that gut feeling about not joining him in this has paid off, as I am not drinking to get get drunk. Time and place for everything Bunny Boy – I have grown up just a little since we were together. . .

As for the Unicorn – well – fairytales are made of this.

And what about Roomy and So Called Girlfriend? They are together, then they aren’t – and I don’t have the time to keep track.

My Christmas and New Year’s spent with my sister. New Year’s was fun. Went out and met another Cutie Patootie, but I think it was under the wrong circumstances. We both seemed a bit weary of each other. Who knows, maybe we’ll bump into each other again.

Work is going good fro now – have big ideas for myself and the company : watch this space.

Whaaaaat now?!

December 15, 2014 in Uncategorized

Let’s call him Mr Penguin.

Mr Penguin and I have been chatted on Whatsapp for about 2 weeks. And if I had to be honest, he has always started the conversations as I don’t really know him that well.

Even though – my personality allows to almost speak about anything as I absorb information where I can – and I hold onto this info, for times like this when small talk is necessary. But don’t get me wrong, whatever I do chat about, I do take an interest in.

So, anyway – Mr Penguin and I have met face to face once, at a work function a year ago. I do know what he looks like, and he knows what I look like, with the exception of me cutting my hair recently. And I am by no means attracted to him at all! Call me shallow –  but we all know that if that “physical attraction” is not present – try and try, it just won’t happen.

I know you thinking I’m probably not giving him a chance – and that I’m not opening my mind to the thought? No. No. No.

We are 2 very, VERY different people.

For starters : religion. He follows a religion as does his whole family, I would have to cover up from head to toe and not show any exposed skin. This is a problem for me as I like feeling the warm sunshine on my bare shoulders.

Next up, because of the religious difference – my drinking and fondness for bacon would suffer greatly. Enough said. So no more bacon flavoured mojitos for me, well, no not really – but the bacon topped pizza and ice cold beer sessions will sadly come to a halt. As would my totally wicked behaviour. Penguin has said he like to have fun, but I do think his fun and my fun would be on way different levels!

And lastly – this is the killer – he doesn’t “actually” watch any sport!? Shock, horror! Thank you for playing, but you can kindly leave the stage! Exit right here. . . . I have been in a relationship once before where I was the only sports freak and not being able to watch a match in the comfort of your own home is quite uncool.

This would mean no beer while screaming at the TV for them to score a goal / get a try / bowl him out while I’m wearing a strappy top and eating Meat Lovers pizza with extra bacon bits. Does that sound like fun? Nope.

So why then am I chatting to him? Networking. For the simple fact that I might need to use his services to gain others. No leading on whatsoever.

Now that you have a good idea about who he is, I can continue with this post.

Penguin is ok to chat to, he takes whatever I say at face value though – this might conflict with what I’m trying to say or when I make a joke.

He wants to take me out to lunch before he goes on holiday to China, where he is going to buy me a gift. I wanted proper Chinese steam buns and I meant this as a joke as I know bringing food over might be a huge problem. I got like a whole description of why it would be a bad idea and all the rules of safe travel were listed on this Whatsapp message that took forever to type out! So much so I forgot that I was chatting to him. . .

And then on Saturday evening he assumed that because I haven’t been sleeping properly at all for the last month or so that I’m thinking about him. Wait – shut the front door. Huh?!

Firstly – eeeewwwwww!

Secondly –  give me a freakin good reason to think about you, then maybe, just maybe – I’ll make space for you to occupy any part of my mind.

And then yesterday he sends me a pic of his car (a Merc) like I’m supposed to swoon or something. Just goes to show he really doesn’t know me to want to chase after a guy because of a car. You could have a go kart and I’d be more interested. Does the car maketh the man? To a point yes, but you don’t have to send me pictures like when I haven’t requested them.

And honestly, sometimes he freaks me out with how he says we have so much in common and it would be awesome for us to hang out. . . So when I finally do have lunch with him – it’s gonna be in a really public place that I know all the secret hiding places and corridors.

Watch this space.

 

thoughts thoughts thoughts

December 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

Thoughts in my head, or as they come up:
Wonder how Unicorn is doing?
System of a Down. Must. Listen. Now.
I really need a haircut.
%$#! – I could do a much better job than that slob in the office!
I really feel for chocolate. But I have to be strong. Not give in.
This is a cool song!!!
“Hey Baby”
Oh please man – BBM status updates are meant for updates, hate those secret messages.
I’m gonna put up a secret message.
Is Camel the poor man’s Marlboro?
What’s in my eye! Itching like crazy!
Wonder if Bunny Boy will ever leave me alone long enough just to be . . .
What to make for supper tonight?
Hope he’s doing OK?
LOLA!
Let’s load this payment.
Haven’t done math in ages, now I have to do this???
Damn phone. I really don’t want to get up.
“lemme take a selfie”
Deadmau5. YESSSSSSSS!
Have to stop thinking about him! Not mine to do so . .
Wonder if B would still be interested? But long distance won’t work . . .
I want a new pair of sunglasses, or 2.
Mudderfaaker – can you be so childish? Towards your own family? That doesn’t fly with me.
Everyone has their own lives to live – why do you have to bring each other down like that.
COFFEE!
I think the office radio is too loud.
I really want a new tattoo – can Santa organise that for me?
I really don’t feel like working today.
Wonder if I had to do this . . . would it work?
I do miss those conversations and those moments of madness. Argh! Why?!
I wonder who would miss me if I was gone?
Mmmmmmm . . . . .I would so do that!
Hope my munchkins are enjoying their holiday.
Miami – so have to go to Miami! Maybe Cuba, no definitely Cuba . . .
My coffee cup feels smaller??? Even possible?
Everyone likes my haircut! Yessssss!
Time for more music . .

 


                                                                    

Dream a little dream of me!

December 8, 2014 in Uncategorized

You know those dream that feel so real, you can almost taste the kisses you receive? Mmmmmm . . . yes those ones – those ones that make you wanna fall asleep again just you can catch up with those wonderful lips. . .kisses . . .and. . . .

Damn alarm. Damn Monday for making me have the alarm in the first place . . .

In all honesty – that was the second dream I have had in the past 2 weeks. I don’t know why I haven’t been dreaming – maybe there isn’t things for my mind to sort out? Maybe there hasn’t been anything worth dreaming about? Or maybe I just haven’t been sleeping well at all?

Either way – I’ll take this morning’s dream gladly – not only did it make me wake up a little “zim zam” – but it also made me realise that there are possibities out there. Chasing dreams? Don’t we do that everyday anyway? Yes, but it all comes down to just how much effort you put into chasing it.

My dreams at the moment? Get a place of my own, probably rent a place – unless I magically win the elusive Lotto, then I’ll buy a place. I so want to visit Miami! Sun, sea, sand and parties! Yeeeeaaaaah! Another dream for the Lotto to sort out quickly. Oh wait – actually winning the Lotto is a dream too! Damn.

Dreams are achievable – you have to have a solid plan. and determination to get to the end result.

If only they were so easy as rolling over, falling asleep and experiencing all the things I experienced this morning. With no alarm!

Wait, wait – before you go thinking I’m some raging hormone (I am – most of the time, OK, all the time . . .undercover, most of the time . . .) it was a really sweet dream actually, a blanket tent and fun and laughter. But those lips, man, those lips . . . !!

 

 

. . . .And he would be :

December 3, 2014 in Uncategorized

I have been thinking about the perfect guy. Firstly – since no one is truly perfect, and no one will ever be – how can you measure what is totally perfect to you?

Growing up and being in school, you always talk about your dream guy / girl – where you take a little bit of this famous person, and a a little bit of that famous person and maybe just a little from your favourite sports star etc and BOOM! Dream guy or girl . . .

What are my terms? I think they have changed over the years, because you know, we all grow up and tastes change . . .but the constant factor? He has / had to play a sport. And that would be soccer over rugby. So you see, don’t like them too “massive” and overly muscular. That is me being a snob.

Of course he would have to be ambitious – can’t have someone just skating by on life. There would have to be a sense of adventure too, willing to try anything twice. And a wicked sense of humour too – he would have to make me laugh, and be able to laugh at himself.

Great sense of style – but not one that would spend more hours getting ready than me : dress down, dress up and look totally comfortable all the same. And shouldn’t be afraid of getting dirty.

Cook! Yes, he won’t mind cooking or trying new cuisine – even if it’s like a half a teaspoon of whatever it is. Because just that experience and the face he would probably pull would be priceless!

Street smart? Check! Book smart? Check!

Oh! He should be able to throw a punch, and take a punch too.

Looks? Well – short hair. Not negotiable! Short hair is a must. . . I don’t really have a preference for eye colour / hair colour. Tattoos? Yes please! But classy ones, none that look tacky or stupid.

Would have to be that boy that loves cars or bikes . . .not so much guns.  And there would have to a games console, so we can play against each other on those lazy Saturday afternoons. . . if we not watching some match on TV or making our way to one.

Dogs, cats – doesn’t matter. Any pet would be nice, minus huge ass spiders . . .

And that is my dream guy in a nut shell.

Congratulations to me, I probably described David Beckham .   . .

 

Glow baby! Glow, glow, glow!

November 26, 2014 in Uncategorized

I have been told for the past 2 days, that I have this “glow” . . .

Why? How? Huh?!

How does one glow? I know I have heard people say that pregnant women have this glow about them – pinkish, rose coloured cheeks, plump lips and skin making you appear younger.

I know I’m not pregnant! It would be some huge Christmas miracle if that had to happen or the aliens have done a good job at whatever it is that made me preggies . . .so what has caused my glow? And why can’t I see it?

Maybe it’s because after my warm shower in the mornings, I blitz myself with cold water afterwards? Maybe I’m finally eating right! Or that exercise I do is also helping. Or maybe it’s because I throw a party in my head at every given opportunity (like now . . . and now . . . .and yes, now. . .) ???

Maybe it’s also because I somehow feel that prospects are available and all I have to do is grab them? Maybe I’m just in a really happy place right now? And it shows by me being a glow worm or glow stick, whichever way you look at it . . .

I do take care of my skin : face masks, peels, scrubs, moisturizers – I love it all!

I got a new eye cream yesterday and could not wait to use it! I am that kid in the candy store when it comes to all these products. I’ll probably be that crazy bag lady one day with loads of creams and stuff that I’d have to carry 2 handbags . . .ok, scratch the 2 handbags – I get irritated with just the one sometimes and to double that would be certain torture!

But I digress (must be the party in my head, again . . . .)

Glowing. What is causing my glowing skin? I think it’s me smiling all the time.

Why am I smiling all the time? I have my reasons J – I can say however, that I do enjoy those reasons too.

So go out there and smile – you never know who is looking. And besides, smiling with a full set of teeth now is the best thing you can do for your face and those around you! You could also be told you glowing.

Not bad . .

November 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

Funny how weekends differ from each other. Some weekends are an actual blast of everything that is bad for you, but still you want more! Then on the other hand – you get those weekends where you wish something WOULD happen as the voices in your head are really starting to irritate you with their snide comments on how big your bum feels . . .

Then you also get those weekends where you feel so much could have been done, but you not too worried about it.

What kind of weekend did I have? An “OK” one – watched some soccer, actually exercised for more than an hour on both Saturday and Sunday and had some lessons on my scooter. Not bad, not bad at all . . . even had silly smiles like the one I have plastered on my face now.

I think the weekend was bearable because it started out awesome : Friday afternoon is when the weekend starts, and here at work  – that started earlier than usual, at one o’ clock it was like party atmosphere, and who doesn’t like that? Really, really cool!

The rest of the afternoon, well. . . . .☺☺

So here is to a good week as we slowly wind down to the holidays. And that will be with or without the Christmas songs that are being played everywhere . . .

Sure you can use my teaspoon . . .

November 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

I work in an office where cutlery is like gold. You could leave a million rand on your desk and no one will touch it. Cell phone too. nothing will happen to it. But get one of those 100 piece silverware set – and all those forks / knives / spoons will be gone within the hour.

Old Tannie usually packs her teaspoon away each afternoon before going home, but this one afternoon, she didn’t for some reason. And she knows that I have one on my desk all the time. And I won’t deprive anyone from having their cup of morning java or tea – so when she asked if she could borrow it, I was like “sure, no problem at all.”

If you calculate how long you use your teaspoon to make a cup of coffee, it should take maybe 5 minutes, close to 8 if you still have to stand in line for the kettle or sugar pot. . . My teaspoon was missing for a good 15 minutes . . .Can you say suspicious?

I hunt down Old Tannie and catch her eating breakfast with MY teaspoon!!?? Whaaaaaat????!!!!!

Oh hell no! Bunny don’t play like that – you not even related to me! I flipped out, maybe more than I should – but you know the principle of it all . . .

And then she tells me its because her spoon is gone, so she decided to use mine.

Hold the phone.

And when she gave it back to me, all she did was hold it under a cold running tap to rinse it off? Did my OCD kick in!

I washed it with dishwashing liquid, poured boiling water over it, and then washed it again. It has never been so shiny and clean before!

Ok – I will admit I overreacted – but you can’t come to me ask me for the teaspoon to make coffee and end up eating your breakfast with it. No – no – no . . . . . . .

So now if you want to use anything from my desk, please fill in this questionaire and return to me within this time limit; thank you.

I’m happy, if you are . .

November 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

The eternal question : What makes you happy? Or the variation : Are you happy?

Obviously – it does differ from day to day. Heck – it can even differ from hour to hour!

Am I happy right now? Well – right at this moment, I’m super tired and would like nothing better than to be able to take a nap and then maybe head to the beach on some tropical island with a surfboard. . . that would make me happy, right now.

All the above takes place in my little shrunken head: white sand, clear blue sea and palm trees.

Alas – I’m kinda stuck in an office, behind a desk listening to songs being murdered on the radio.

*Sigh*

But then the thought process of being happy turns to a person . . as it always does.

Are you happy with the person YOU are when this other person is around you?

Complicated? Not really – we all have this persona with different people, for instance I won’t be completely insane and out of control with some of the people I work with – they don’t need to know that side of me. But if I feel super comfortable and I can pick up on your craziness, maybe, just maybe – you’ll see my craziness creep out and then we can be totally and utterly mad together.

I saw this happen last night at a function I won entry to. My roomy and the so called GF.

My roomy is like the coolest person around when he lets himself go and indulges in the moment. But when he is with the so called GF – he is all down and serious and gets these headaches and he feels low and and and . . .

Why be with someone that brings you down? I have been there and it’s the worst place to be in. Someone has to bring you up, show you things, experience things with you and make you smile even when you crying.

I also couldn’t be with someone that tracks my every single move and wants to know what I’m doing with who and why. Jeez – I’ve already been smothered by my Mother once in my life, I don’t think I could stand a partner doing the same. Please just check in with me, know that I’m alright and not calling from the boot of a Russian Mafia boss’s car . . .

So why is Roomy and So Called GF together?

I don’t know – and I don’t think they know either . . . besides the obvious “come over and spend some time with me” reason. Ah yes, “that” reason . . .

How does this all fit in with this post? I think you have to be happy with who you are when you around this amazing person that makes you feel like there is so much more to do, to experience and most importantly want to do.

Life is way too short to be unhappy, or at least pretend that you are.

So . . .

Am I happy right now? Only a little – and that’s possibly because my coffee is wearing off and I stopped looking at certain pictures saved on my phone. Another cuppa while I scroll back up to scroll down again?

Yes, why the hell not.