“Growth Depends on Getting Rid of the Unwanted or the Superfluous”
So I’m chopping Facebook – not completely, but hugely. My 700+ ‘friends’ are being downsized to about 50. Truth is that I struggle to build any meaningful relationship with status updates. And I struggle to invest any genuine interest into a person’s life when my brain is overwhelmed by the sheer number of ‘friends’ – in fact I find myself becoming very disconnected. And then I start using Facebook as a tool for my own agenda.
But I don’t want to be that person.
It feels so shallow to spend hours each day trying to stay ‘friends’ with people I don’t truly know. What exactly am I looking for? Am I placing my hope in my Facebook ‘relationships’? Do I rely on Facebook for my own self-image? Am I trying to market myself? What is it? Is it worth it? Is it adding value to my life – true sustainable, meaningful value? Are my relationships growing? Am I increasing in knowledge and wisdom and love?
How much of my worldview has shifted to believe that if I don’t engage well on Facebook, that I run the risk of failing in my life, my work…?
When I was a baby, I used to poop in my pants and walk on my hands and knees. Before I could move on to childhood, where I could experience the joys of walking to my own potty before pooping, I needed to completely let go of my old habits.
The old needed to die before the new could take place.
The same goes for every area of my life.
I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my mutton curry if I did not leave behind the habit of suckling my mother’s breast.
I would not be married to my beautiful wife if I did not end my obsession over that ‘first love’.
I would not be living this new and fresh life as a servant to the poor, if I did not end my greed for money in the business world.
And so it goes on……..
“For there to be anything new, old things have to come to an end, and we have to let go of them.”
And we see this in nature – winter comes along to prune and cull so that spring follows with fresh newness. And those who look after the most beautiful and admirable gardens, spend most of their time walking around pruning and trimming, bringing about the necessary endings that must take place before the new beginnings can flourish. For example, I have this Capsicum tree in my garden that my wife bought me and it is FULL of buds and flowers at the moment. I have no doubt, and am very excited to reap the harvest of this tree and to use the fruits in many meals and pickles over the next few months…
But to reach a stage of such abundance, much pruning was needed.
And I’m feeling this in my life right now – not just with Facebook. I’m feeling a frustratingly deep desire for change. For newness and freshness. I’ve been feeling it for most of this year actually, and it has annoyed me that I haven’t been able to make the changes that are needed. And then I was nudged awake by Dr. Henry Cloud and his book “Necessary Endings” – which is where all my quotes are taken from, and on which I base this blog post. Truth is that I can expect nothing new until I bring to an end some of the old that takes up space in my life.
So I’m starting with Facebook and Twitter – to spend less time on social media so that I can invest more time into real relationship building.
And then I need to bring an end to my laptop usage at night, so that I can invest more time into my relationship with my wife.
And then I need to bring an end to my meat-gorging eating habits, so I can reduce my dangerously high risk of heart attack.
And then there’s mindless television programs, uninspiring conversations, energy-sapping relationships……..
The list goes on quite long.
Primarily because I have allowed it to. But if I want to experience change, then I need to start pruning so that new life may spring from the space of previously dead weight.
This is my life lesson that I am being drawn through. And I share it because that’s what I do – I hope that as I learn and grow that my experiences would encourage your growth. And I don’t post this as a command, but rather as an offering – maybe you relate to this, maybe you don’t. If it speaks to your heart, then may you be encouraged along your own path of Necessary Endings and New Beginnings. If it does not, please ignore it. And if you feel that there is someone you care for who would benefit from this, please would you share it.
Thank you for choosing to journey with me – I appreciate you.