Sex and Success
August 29, 2010 in Uncategorized
I met my wife through a mutual friend. No sparks, just plain old civil communication was to be had for the introduction. Okay maybe I thought she was attractive looking, but that is a trait of every man. We judge females at first glance and place them along the 1 – 10 scale.
She looked like an 8 to me, and should have taken the first fact of not pursuing her as a sign that it should not happen. When most of us (men) see a good looking woman we immediately try to figure out a means to seduce (95% of men have NO idea how to seduce a woman properly) and take to bed the introducee.
Cry ladies, TODAY your husbands and boyfriends tried to plot a seduction. Not that I am saying they continued to do it, but still – a crime of the mind is a crime of the body. Should you continue to feel anger at that statement and resentment toward your better half take to heart that you too are guilty of seduction on a daily basis. You sure as heck do not try to look sexy for your boyfriend or husband but for that prince on a white stallion you’ve been waiting for since childhood. Your bf/hsbnd is most probably also just a “settle” since he is probably part of that 95% group who “gets lucky” when he meets a new potential mate.
I met her in my car, and had a very rapid mental workshop on ways I could shag her then nothing. We became friends and from friendship grew affection and from affection came love. No fucking attraction, affection.
We have been separated twice. Been through financial turmoil, been screaming, shouting, and hatin’ for 8 years now. And the last few months my mind has been wondering “why?”
*****
Why do humans put themselves through life long misery by being in a monogamous relationship with someone they feel absolutely no attraction to?
It’s because the seduction was done wrong, and because somewhere along the way the Man in the house had a serious case of BALL CRIMPAGE. We think that if we are nice and compliant with the females that we will seduce them to absolute nipple erection. We think that flowers and gifts will buy the heart and soul of a female, but really all we are doing is catering for the 95 percentile.
A woman needs to be approached by her dream man head on, she wants to be looked in the eye without the least bit of fear in the Man’s eyes. He needs to have a cool air of absolute assurance about himself and the woman should think “If I can’t have him no-one will have him” to herself in the first 20 seconds of laying an eye on him.
Now that’s the kind of attraction that will last for 50 years.
Time to become a man.
jeanihess said on August 29, 2010
Nutkin said on August 29, 2010
Well, I wish you luck, mate! Personally I think it is a lot more complicated than that… Perhaps we are a generation of serial monogamists!
loveitlegal said on August 29, 2010
Read the Red Queen by Matt Ridley. That should help with the complication.
loveitlegal said on August 29, 2010
I refuse to settle too. I’ll be meeting A LOT of woman.
loveitlegal said on August 29, 2010
You and I are not the same m8. But tx for the words.
loveitlegal said on August 29, 2010
This will put it in to perspective.
We decided both that the first priority is our 1 kid. I put my daughter (7) above myself, BUT I also need to live a happy life.
We are getting a new place where we can stay close o each other but apart. We still care for each other but we both feel we need to get a move on before one of us die.
I would never have cheated on her. And I do not plan to get “mrs right” before the physical seperation.
Our agreement is we will finalise the divorce when one of us needs to due to another partner.
And NO one night stands and meeting people in BArs!!
68ghia said on August 29, 2010
What you’re describing is something we all want. every songle person out there’s only goal is to find the one person that encompasses all the things you mentioned.
I met mine. And had to let go.
Hope you find what you’re looking for dude.
innocence said on August 29, 2010
I think a lot of people settle because they fear they can’t do better. It’s all about changing your mindset and changing your attitude!
loveitlegal said on August 29, 2010
I like you. That is EXACTLY the reason.
RACHAELG said on August 30, 2010
You sound so bitter with it all. I agree with Innocent1, change your entire outlook, get over this bitterness, spend time with yourself, get to know yourself, before going forth and finding that love you think is out there.
We all do wish to be with that one person we will spend 50 yrs and the afterlife with, but people don’t reach these milestones just by falling in love and becoming obsessive (‘if i cant have him no-one else will’), its hard work and dealing with the differences wisely.
Almost all of us have experienced infatuation (that ’1st 20 seconds’ of going head over heels), but how can you even think that it will work when you don’t know the personality? Don’t judge a book by the cover. All that glitters is not gold. Think!
loveitlegal said on September 4, 2010
If my taste is bitter then your lens on perception is not allowing you to view on my actual frame correctly.
loveitlegal said on September 4, 2010
Why did you have to let him go 68ghia?
68ghia said on September 4, 2010
Uhm, stupid me – he was married…
loveitlegal said on September 4, 2010
That’s so sad
68ghia said on September 4, 2010
Don’t I just know it!
At least I now know what it feels like, and maybe, one day another worthy will come along and hit me between the eyes!!
Still the best time of my life – ever!!!
PennyCommunityManager said on September 20, 2010
Wow, really sorry to hear this Rusty.
I know what it’s like but best of luck moving forward.
loveitlegal said on September 20, 2010
No luck needed – I got my mojo back