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Blaming the victim …

February 13, 2013 in South Africa

Discussions on rape is turning to how women can mitigate against rape- that is, not to walk in lonely places, not to wear short skirts or tight pants, or to not be generally independent in movement or attractive and sexy except perhaps at home with family, a lover or husband…
Hmm … as if home is actually safe!
… as if only beauty queen type girls get raped.
… as if babies and toddlers and the elderly, like 94yr old goggas don’t get raped.

Today a young teen returning home from school was gang raped, stabbed several times and left for dead on the road.

One has to walk the road home hey
… or take the taxi for that route, or the bus or train, and women are raped then too
- and if they stayed behind at the taxi rank or the station or the bus stop to not be the only traveler, would they have been safer?

Women, and other vulnerables, old enough to be on the road know about the dangers and the choices that they have to make.

It seems that some people think that rape would be reduced; that the chances for woman to be raped would be minimized if she wore long skirts (Ooh- ha ha- have YOU tried to run in a long skirt?) or not going out alone, or not crossing THAT field- you know, the one in front of the house?

… like the 11yr old whom other children later found under a bush with her breasts cut off? Her uncle did her …

Why don’t these wise men and women not simply tell men to keep their pants zipped and on their waists?

… and their hands in their pockets? They can play 5 tackle 1 hey instead of beating up on and raping a woman.

After all to accomplish the rape the guy has to take that penis out hey, and shove it inside a woman. This he does all by himself. This only he can do or not do.

Whether the woman showed her thighs, or the baby opened her legs wide with nappy change, or grandma said that she was lonely has nothing to do with the decision and action of rape.

Why have men not really addressed men on this matter?

Is there another aspect to rape and violence against women that we have not looked at?

Is there a complicity that speaks to turning a blind eye as long as rapist do not target certain women?

Like in: ‘stay away from my sister’ type of thing …

OK- so he did HER, but SHE is a B!TCH anyway …

For men to get away with rape within society, other men must be complicit. Gang rapes proves complicity. Denial by friends and family, some providing false alibis, proves complicity.

Girls, now do not get all smug. Some years ago, in Uitsig, two girls were found raped and shot on a field. I had to work with this case hey- support the two mothers, one living in Uitsig and the other in Matroosfontein. The Matroosfontein mother had adopted the child and raised her.

The guys were caught but they were incited by girls hey…

So OK- they were gangsters; this was the kind of stuff that they did, but their girls- their girls just did not like the other two girls hey

…. so just see what we’ll do to you…

and did.

One was found still washing the boyfriend’s bloody shirt.

No, The case, as far as I can recall, did not pursue these girls and their role in the rape and the killings.

Just bear in mind that when you blame a girl for wearing short skirts or going out alone, you are complicit in the excuses for rape.

The guys that get raped hardly wear short skirts hey…

Rape is always about punishment and power; about control

about showing other men that they are unable to protect the women in their lives and in society- that is family, friends or possible partners or wives.

Why do men turn that blind eye? Why do women blame women?

So guys, if you care, come out and show yourself- let the others know that you will not stand for rape and abuse. Let the numbers grow!

And girls- wearing a short skirt is not asking for rape; is not permission for abuse.

Report rape; act against abuse.

Photo: Blaming the victim ...<br />
Discussions on rape is turning  to how women can mitigate against rape- that is, not to walk in lonely places, not to wear short skirts or tight pants, or to not be generally independent in movement or attractive and sexy except perhaps at home with family, a lover or husband...<br />
Hmm ... as if home is actually safe!<br />
... as if only beauty queen type girls get raped.<br />
... as if babies and toddlers and the elderly, like 94yr old goggas don't get raped.</p>
<p>Today a young teen returning home from school was gang raped, stabbed several times and left for dead on the road.</p>
<p>One has to walk the road home hey<br />
... or take the taxi for that route, or the bus or train, and women are raped then too<br />
- and if they stayed behind at the taxi rank or the station or the bus stop to not be the only traveler, would they have been safer?</p>
<p>Women, and other vulnerables, old enough to be on the road know about the dangers and the choices that they have to make.</p>
<p>It seems that some people think that rape would be reduced; that the chances for  woman to be raped would be minimized if she wore long skirts (Ooh- ha ha- have YOU tried to run in a long skirt?) or not going out alone, or not crossing THAT field- you know, the one in front of the house? </p>
<p>... like the 11yr old whom other children later found under a bush with her breasts cut off? Her uncle did her ... </p>
<p>Why don't these wise men and women not simply tell men to keep their pants zipped and on their waists?</p>
<p>... and their hands in their pockets? They can play 5 tackle 1 hey instead of beating up on and raping a woman.</p>
<p>After all to accomplish the rape the guy has to take that penis out hey, and shove it inside a woman. This he does all by himself. This only he can do or not do.</p>
<p>Whether the woman showed her thighs, or the baby opened her legs wide with nappy change, or grandma said that she was lonely has nothing to do with the decision and action of rape.</p>
<p>Why have men not really addressed men on this matter? </p>
<p>Is there another aspect to rape and violence against women that we have not looked at?</p>
<p>Is there a complicity that speaks to turning a blind eye as long as rapist do not target certain women?</p>
<p>Like in: 'stay away from my sister' type of thing ...</p>
<p>OK- so he did HER, but SHE is a B!TCH anyway ...</p>
<p>For men to get away with rape within society, other men must be complicit. Gang rapes proves complicity. Denial by friends and family, some providing false alibis, proves complicity.</p>
<p>Girls, now do not get all smug. Some years ago, in Uitsig, two girls were found raped and shot on a field. I had to work with this case hey- support the two mothers, one living in Uitsig and the other in Matroosfontein. The Matroosfontein mother had adopted the child and raised her. </p>
<p>The guys were caught but they were incited by girls hey...</p>
<p>So OK- they were gangsters; this was the kind of stuff that they did, but their girls- their girls just did not like the other two girls hey</p>
<p>.... so just see what we'll do to you...</p>
<p>and did. </p>
<p>One was found still washing the boyfriend's bloody shirt.</p>
<p>No, The case, as far as I can recall, did not pursue these girls and their role in the rape and the killings.</p>
<p>Just bear in mind that when you blame a girl for wearing short skirts or going out alone, you are complicit in the excuses for rape.</p>
<p>The guys that get raped hardly wear short skirts hey... </p>
<p>Rape is always about punishment and power; about control</p>
<p>about showing other men that they are unable to protect the women in their lives and in society- that is family, friends or possible partners or wives.</p>
<p>Why do men turn that blind eye? Why do women blame women?</p>
<p>So guys, if you care, come out and show yourself- let the others know that you will not stand for rape and abuse. Let the numbers grow!</p>
<p>And girls- wearing a short skirt is not asking for rape; is not permission for abuse.</p>
<p>Report rape; act against abuse.

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