Take Me, Use Me, Discard Me!
November 15, 2012 in Uncategorized
Wow! Where do I even begin with a topic like this? The other day it just dawned on me that the reason my past relationships didn’t work out is because I somewhere down the line decided that I wasn’t good enough and gave men the permission to treat me however they liked. I went from one messy relationship to the other expecting men to validate me in every possible way. I chose the most unlikely suspects! I remember some of my girlfriends would cringe when I introduced them to my new conquest. I knew what they were thinking, that I deserved better. I knew in my mind I could do so much better but the heart just couldn’t connect, I felt like crap and got treated like one! Where men would come into my life, take me, use me then toss me aside like a piece of burnt toast!
I would then spend years transfering my worthlessness to the next partner I meet, and the next and the next… Until my life came tumbling down and nearly strangled me in the process!
Now who in their right mind would allow themselves to be treated like that?! You wonder? I am telling you, an insecure woman, a woman who has been rejected all her life, a women whose self-esteem has never taken off, has never risen (at her lowest it probably peaked at minus zero, highest maybe a 4 if she was lucky!) How can that woman think she deserves better. How will that woman be able to identify the best when she doesn’t know what the best looks like, all she knew was the mess she was surrounded by! I grieve for all the lost years I suffered but at the same time I am equally empowered to give life another try, 2nd chances. I believe in 2nd chances, We all need some of that.
I am in a better space, am ready for round-2.
Till next time