Oupa's Stoep Talk

Is the CV a waste of paper or is it a valuable document in today’s workplace?

This question has plagued me for some time and I decided to do a bit of research. Now I know that I might get my head bitten off but what I found was quite interesting.

I took my own CV which is compiled according to the so-called standard format. I sent around 120 applications to all posts which I could find… and waited patiently for any replies… and I waited… and waited…. and… yep you have probably guessed it. I got NO CALLS AT ALL.

Now the question arose, what must I do that I can at least get some sort of reaction? Being the super cynic I am, I changed my CV a little bit by stating the “out of the norm” facts. As an example in the Sex statement where everybody states Male or Female I put down.. As much as possible.

Under Birth: The answer Yes was inserted.

Place of birth: Hospital sat there very proudly.

In this way I carried on till I basically had cynical answers to all the normal facts stated in a CV. I took that version and I sent out only five to different post advertised. Guess how many responses I had… All together now….

FIVE people called me to enquire if I am the joker who submits such a shitty CV…

Now let us look at the process when a post is advertised at any firm/business. Let us say the post of Admin Clerk is up for grabs. The ad is run in the local newspaper and there are only about 4000 people who apply for the post. At the firm there is one sod who has been tasked to filter the CV’s which arrived with the applications…

Let us be very honest with each other. The first 20 CV’s are still quite interesting, the next 100 might get attention, but after them, I can bet that person is so up to here for reading the same shit on each CV that they are just piled up in the “no go” bin.

Which of the 4000 applications do you think would be the successful one.

Let me enlighten you, the final CV would probably be a picked from the first 100 CV’s read.

That is the normal way CV’s are treated. Now you only have 5 seconds max. to stop the reader and have that person put your CV aside for later perusal as it stopped that persons scanning process. When people scan documents and something out of the box draws the attention, then you stand a chance.

My reply to the five call I received was the same in every case:

Q: Are you the joker who submitted this CV?

A: Yes, why what seems to be the problem?

Q: Well sir you cannot be serious with such a CV…

A: Well I stopped you to read it again and is this not exactly what you need to do. Stop the reader so that he puts the CV aside and then later read it again.. and again… and again.

Once you have stopped the reader’s scanning you have an 80% chance of being called in for a chat…

BINGO, that is all you wanted to accomplish…

So now once again I ask the question… Is the CV wasted paper or does it serve a purpose.

To my mind I want to meet an applicant who can think out of the box when I have a post available and not one that can copy and paste information on a CV just to have it look acceptable.

So my verdict is… CV’s in the so-called standard format are a waste of paper. I’d rather have the people fill in a short application form (on-line) to see how the person answers.

Right I’m ready to be shot.