Jill of All Knowledge
January 18, 2013 in Uncategorized
The interesting thing about being relatively intelligent but having no short term (or medium term) memory to speak of is that interesting facts (and some pretty dull ones) tend to stick to strange recesses in my brain while all the useful stuff strains out as if it is a sieve.
I still remember my first boss after graduation complaining about where I’d studied. That I appeared to have learned nothing at all in all my years of tertiary education and he couldn’t decide if the institution or my scatterbrained approach to life were to blame.
Consequently I can tell you a collective group of crows is called a ‘murder’. But how you remove red wine stains, I have no idea. (Which fact would be more useful in my life.)
A friend of mine has recently separated from her husband. She is decidely unperturbed by this because she was married in the States. Where she believes divorce will favour a 50/50 split of assets in addition to her being kept in the manner to which she is accustomed. I didn’t feel like pointing out to her I don’t think all states are created equal in the States. I distinctly remember there was some big controversy a few years ago with a film star and how alimony was paid out in the state of New York versus California – the couple having married in one and then lived in the other. The lower earning party was desperately trying to get the case tried in the state that would probably work more in their favour. A bit like ensuring if you are going to commit murder you attempt to get tried in a state that does not have the death penalty.
Apparently though if she was proposed to on a national holiday or a big occasion like Valentine’s Day or Christmas, she will probably be able to keep the ring. Or so says my friend’s gay friend who can’t even technically marry someone of the same sex in his country. THIS piece of information for some strange reason stuck in my head. Something about the fact that such valuable items as expensive jewellery should return to the communal pot to be divided up when the estate is separated. However, ‘gifts’ given for appropriate gift occasions are usually considered exempt from this as they have been given freely away to the other party and are therefore not eligible for the communal pot.
Maybe I should just become a lawyer?
I also know all the ins and outs about filling in immigration forms for the UK. What questions they are likely to ask in interviews. Where you could fall at the last hurdle. I’ve seen too many friends pass these tests and fail them to not have absorbed at least some of the information entailed to get in and stay in. Or get blacklisted out.
I just wish I knew information pertaining more directly to my life. Like how many calories can a person of my height actually eat. (I don’t know if I believe those doctor recommendations and I also can’t work out how you work out the energy content of food anyways.) Or what cream really stops wrinkles in their path. Or how do you find property you can actually afford to buy on a rubbish salary. Or how do you calculate percentages and exchange rates easily in your head…