April 15, 2013 in Uncategorized
The thing about people telling you they are all altruistic and all giving is that they are not. Nobody does something for NOTHING. The fact is, even if people are not admitting to it, is that people are nosy. Or have big egos. Or are lonely. Or whatever. The point is generally you help someone because in some way it makes you feel better about yourself. Or better about the world. Or makes you feel clever. Or popular. Or you know that that person you helped will owe you for the rest of their lives and you are going to make damned sure they know it.
I know that when I help some of my friends out it is probably because I am nosy. And because I know what it is like to stand in their shoes and not be helped. And I keep hoping that if my pompous nosy self gets involved, it will all pay forward when my desperate down at the heels self emerges at some other junction in my life.
Having said that, I am about to throttle one of my friends.
There is no helping someone who won’t tell you the full story to which you are supposed to be assisting in writing a happy ending. It is one thing if someone doesn’t have all the facts, it is another when they hide them away from you to ensure you can’t use them for your own self gain or because it makes them feel superior or something.
There is also no desire to help someone who, you discover, after you have spent almost a year assisting to get them through an exam, thinks that because you have not done that EXACT exam (I did mine in SA) you are now inferior to them. Who, moreover, has always been convinced you are a ‘follower’ not a ‘leader’ because in the original place they met you you were obliged to be second below the actual project runner. Never mind actually asking you what you are capable of.
Who laughs when you point out helpful tips like ‘don’t wear that shirt with holes in to an interview please’.
I know he means well.
But so do I. And although his heart may be in the right place, his mouth certainly isn’t as it’s said a number of things I have reason to take insult to. It’s also left out a number of facts I would have considered important to helping him out.
This is the point you lose the desire to help someone. Because, as I said before, noone does it just for the hell of it. And if you are not getting paid or a warm fuzzy feeling in your navel, well, there are better things to be doing. Like replanting cacti without protective gloves.